Is it easy to experience 'Thai Love'?
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There seems to be an endless abundance of lovely gorgeous Ladies in Thailand.
After all - most Thai women have:
• Beautiful long hair
• a slender physique,
• golden sweet soft skin and
• a killer smile with white teeth
The Girls in Thailand are as feminine as women can be. There also seems to be a seemingly endless stream of men coming to Thailand to find their Thai love.
Even though the ladies' beauty is not the only reason why all men come to Thailand - it is for many THE reason.
In Pattaya in particular Pattaya ladies are easy to meet and that is a downfall for many and a happy end story for other
Men of all ages, color and creed are coming to exotic Thailand and many are blessed to find a beautiful Thai Wife.
Many men come to Pattaya to live a couple of weeks a James Bond lifestyle and as the Thais say -be a Butterfly (a womanizer). Many do come to find their Thai Love.
Retirees from all over the world come to Thailand to spend the rest of their life in 'Paradise' with a beautiful companion. It is obvious why men come to Thailand. Now let's look at what the Ladies want.
It is obvious that it is important where the relationship originated. Here in Pattaya most men meet their prospective partners in bars.
When you are in Pattaya it seems like many Thai women work as bar girls.
That is true for Pattaya, Phuket, areas in Bangkok and other touristy places. These places are far from being a true representation of Thailand.
Choosing a Thai Girl as partner who has worked or is working in a bar will definitely come with past baggage and depending on how long the girl has worked in bars....the bar may also stay with her.
You can "take the boy out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the boy" comes to mind.
A Thai woman who has been with men has an extremely low "market value" for Thai men. It is very unlikely that a Thai man would want to marry her. How ever there are many Girls who work in Bars who have Thai boy friends and who don't seem to mind. But we will cover that later.
If you want to get involved with a Thai woman here is something important to understand. Thai people have very strong family ties, as strong as steel.
Close-knit or which ever term you prefer. Thais are taught to respect their family, the elders and yes the children are expected to provide for their parents.
What that means to you is that you have to know that you will become part of that support system.
Your partner will expect you to help the family financially.
If you do not like that thought or are not ready for that I would suggest you get out of your Thai love relationship as fast as you can.
There is no way that you will change the culture of the Thais. The children will provide for the family.
There is no such thing as social security in Thailand and with that said it makes sense that the children will take care of the elder. From generation to generation this is how it has been done and it works.
There are no retirement centers or nursing homes where the elders are being sent. Unless your partner is of a middle class or wealthy family...you will have to become part of that support system.
If your partner is from a poor family, and most girls who work in Pattaya are from the rural Isaan area which is north eastern Thailand.
So the Thai Love relationship takes on a different turn here. By providing for your partner's family you will gain 'love'. What does money have to do with love you ask? If the girl can take care of the family she fulfills her obligation to the elders and that's more important than anything else. A difficult concept to grasp for many foreigners.
Even if you are a young and handsome young man and you have no problem finding beautiful women...at some point in time will the money issue be presented to you if you want a long term relationship. If you are not able and willing to provide for your Thai partner and for at least her close family you will be replaced at some point in time.
Older Western and any men for that matter who have money can have beautiful partners in their 20's because of the above mentioned. In the girl's eyes it is a small sacrifice to make for a huge gain.
All of this is being frowned upon by people in the west and particular women in the west.
In 1987 when I was 27 years old I spent some time on the island Koh Samet and I met a Girl from Bangkok. She was on vacation with fellow students. We fell in love right away. My first Thai love.
She was very beautiful, 21 years old, educated and her family was middle class. Her mother was married to an American. Since he was deceased the mother was collecting $3500 a month pension.
That's a lot of money in Thailand especially back then in 1987.
They owned one house in Bangkok and also one in Isaan. I spent 6 months with her and she took me home to her mother and family in Isaan.
We spent 4 days with her family. Little did I know what that meant. We have been talking about marriage and I would have married her. She was sexy, fun, intelligent and drop dead gorgeous.
I went back to my home country to make more money and to come back to Thailand to live with her.
We talked every day on the phone and everything was great. When I got back to Thailand she finally had to tell me that her mother disapproved of me and that instead she will marry a rich Japanese business man who was almost 50 years old.
I know she was in love with me too. We had a wonderful time but she did what probably 99, 9 % of all Thai girls would do. Her mother and family were more important. The Japanese business man she married was extremely rich. I wasn't. So much about Thai love. That was a hard pill to swallow.
A western woman would probably do what she feels and thinks is right for her.
The mother would probably not even interfere with her daughter's life decisions. Understanding the close-knit ties in Thai families is very important if you desire to have a Thai love relationship.
A Western / Thai Love relationship bears many cultural challenges which do not have to be a problem if both partners learn about the other partner's culture.
Westerners for example like "their space" and like being alone at times. A concept that Thais do not understand. Thai people love spending time with friends and family.
The concept of independence is something Thais don't understand and don't want. It is common that even the parents in the western world want the children to become independent. Not so in Thailand. Thai children are being taught to respect and care for the elders and parents.
If you are in a Western Thai love relationship with a Thai girl and you don't like the idea that her family will become part of your life and that you will have to support them....get out of the relationship.
Sooner or later the money and support issue will come up. In the girl's eyes you will happily support them if you love her. That's how you show your love for her!
You will get everything in return. Her love, support, loyalty, body and she will take good care of you.
I believe it's a good trade off if you find the right woman....and family:)
Not only will you have to support the family. You may have to pay a Dowry to the parents. Sounds like the parents are selling their daughter?
Up to you what you think about it, but you won't change a culture in one life time. This support system has worked for a very long time.
A Thai man will happily take on the responsibility of supporting his partner's family. Money and Love are not separated in Thai society. In the western world it is quiet the opposite. Western people find it appalling to make money matters and love inseparable.
Check out Thai culture
Pattaya girls...what are they like?